im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
