Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
