Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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