dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
