And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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