He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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