I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
