i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
