i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
