I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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