Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
