It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
