I hate your face
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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