just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
