You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I love you. Go after that dick
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
