did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
