Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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