how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
