Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
