You can't special order awesome
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
