It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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