I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize