You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize