It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
