That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
