it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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