Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
