Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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