Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
