I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
