Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
