Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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