hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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