The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
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