Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
love makes seman taste better
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
