Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
