waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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