those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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