i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
