At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
