I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In America we eat man semen.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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