On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
