Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
