this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
