Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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