ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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