Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
