By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize