Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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