Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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