It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
