saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
