his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
