Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
