it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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