I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
