hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
