I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
