See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
