You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
