I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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