Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
