people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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