Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
