Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
