So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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