She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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