Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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