You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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