who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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